start ups are hard

http://blog.jazzychad.net/2011/05/02/startups-are-hard.html

this is true, but i've done it now three times

four maybe...

kinda

CORE (a real estate company i worked for) was already started, but i was there for the big push, from 5 employees to 30

same with black star, dave already had the idea and traction, he just needed the organization.

bike farm, i was pretty much there from the beginning

"Collected", that was my failed attempt, i think i'll lump that in with trying to make my house an art collective.

and here i am again, with secure cellar door.

the difference between my successes and failures is first and foremost, having a partner.

"collected" was the biggest failure, and i really felt like i was doing it on my own. i didn't feel like anybody cared one way or another if i succeeded. my dad basically thought i was wasting my time, and while kurt liked the idea of having friends in the house all the time, he didn't care enough to work on the idea with me, or help me renovate the house. I basically had to pay for work from "friends" and so i was financier and founder. I became physically exhausted, and mentally burnt out. after the first year, i dove into depression which was only lifted by my first bike tour. Life changing,

to say what got me through in one word, inspiration.

ok, there are more words, drive, an overflowing of life and goodness, yes!

i went straight into bike farm, the next start up, and i had lots of partners. That helped with the success, and the other thing was that is was a really good idea and totally needed in the portland bike community. i look at the bike temple and wonder why it's not succeeding, and i think it's mostly because, it's just down the street from us. it wasn't really needed. if they had done it in the south east, it might be a different story.

The other success was having a partner that was better than me in a certain way. Ariel is a social mastermind. As much as i like to believe that i am good at making friends and influencing people, she is better. she could just convince people to help her, and followed through with them to make sure it happened. she was also in the community. another thing that i've seen to lead to the success of a company/organization. Dave of black star bags is also very intrenched in the community. he's respected, and has a name. these where too things i lacked with Collected.

as for secure cellar door,

i sort of have a partner. sometimes i don't feel like ben is my partner, sometimes i feel like i'm trying to make the company work on my own. that's silly tho, i have two partners really,

hmm, having a stake in the company is also new, and important

i think that's what i lacked at black star. that's why i left,

i remember the day i realized i was stressing over the business as if it were my own, and then a friend said, "but momoko, it's not."

the same can be true for Secure Cellar Door. while there is a thought of 5% or 10%, it feels far off, and with strings attached. it's not my baby. ben's not my husband and this is not our baby.

but the idea of 5% helps, and certainly with the biggest success, bike farm, i feel that i have a stake in it. not ownership, which is kinda of amazing.

like, i have as much pride as a owner, but whenever i get to a point where i don't know what direction to go with the org, i just ask all the other owners. and honestly, when we fail at things, i don't feel total personal responsibility. this could be seen as a bad thing, and personal accountability is something we work towards, but at the same time, it's really nice to have a space where i can experiment and try things out and not feel like a failure if it doesn't go the way i thought it would.

lots of work environments could be like this, accepting of failure, but even writing it out seems like something you wouldn't want to encourage in your own business. it seems like unsound business advice, "to be ok with failure."

there's something to this i'm sure,

how can i apply this now to my current project.

bike seeds will not be as accomplished if i have to do it on my own. see, i'm already going down the same path as collected, because this is my idea, the other start ups where not.

Is there a need for my idea.

to spread the ideas of collectivism,

eh? yes, but i'm not the first to try,

so yeah, i need to work on that one...

am i in the community? yes, but, i'm loosing my stance. leaving for Australia has really hurt me here. but, i have another year to make it again.

am i ok with failure? yeah! that's the one i've really got. see i want to go on this ride even if i don't change the world. i mean, i sure hope i do, but, biking the pan america highways going to be awesome even if it's just for the ride...

so, i've got a few things going for me,

i shall meditate more on what makes for a good environment for a start up.