journal april

sometimes i want to go back to a life of having plenty of time and no money.

after rails i suppose

but can i live like i have plenty of time? when in fact i have a job? when i had plenty of time and no money, i would...

after europe right?

yeah, a bit before, really, it was on the road to bradock that i started becoming obsessed with the idea of spending nothing, cause i realized i could,

i had started it really as soon as i stopped working for core, the experiment...

I read through that journal and a few more, I should pack, i've got three hours till dinner.

today was really beautiful, riding in the car, 

the leaves all changing colour, i feel nostalgic and sad thinking about it, i still remember crying into my pillow,

i want wine and to be drunk and writing, i will be home soon, i can not believe that i will be home soon and i will not have to do anything, i will be free.

simple life, life of no money, bike tour life, 

what stops me in portland?

alcohol and breakfast and friendships, 

but i can take a break from drinking, i can become a health nut, 

and i wouldn't stop myself from taking sailing lessons, and learning to program

i guess i'm just really trying to drill in the idea of not drinking as much.

it's neary time for bed, time for flosing for sure