Man, a lot has happened since 2010. But it doesn't feel that long ago. It started with bike tour in Japan, and now the end of this bike tour is in site. A lot of the past three years had been in preparation for this ride. And I purposefully didn't think about plans beyond this. But now, uncertainty washes over me. I bike long days with nothing but my thoughts, and sure, I have a few things figured out.
I know what I want. I have no idea how I'll get it. But experience tells me that knowing what you want is the most important part. Still. This mind of mine needs a plan. One week left. Plus a few days. And then it back to working so hard there's no time for thought, and the carrot that this ride has been for me. It won't be there.
During the hard times of the last two years, and yeah, there have been fucking hard times. I'd lie in my bed and say, alaska, soon I'll be riding my bike and nothing you've said will matter. I will be happy and I will be strong.
And I have been happy, and fucking amazingly strong. And the words of self doubt roll off my back.
But I don't feel free. What needs to get done is hard to realize. That probably means its the truth.
Ok. I'll do it. I always do what needs to get done.
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